There’s no doubt that technology has complicated the process of raising children. It’s more important than ever to think critically about when and how you will open this door for your child, as well as to consider how we are modeling through our own technology use! As parents and camp directors, we have always advocated to wait as long as possible and to provide clear guidance around technology for many reasons, for example: research showing that more time spent on social media can be linked to a decrease in self-esteem and an increase in anxiety and depression; the addictive nature of apps and games, designed to activate our dopamine centers; and the easy access and exposure to a vast array of images and information which can be scary or downright inappropriate. “Research shows that it takes children about 12 years to fully develop the cognitive structures that enable them to engage in ethical thinking. Before 12 it’s difficult, if not impossible, for a child to fully grasp the impact of their actions upon others, online or otherwise.” – Diana Graber, Cyberwise
We also recognize that there are many benefits to technology and lots of platforms can be used to share positive memories and connect with friends and family. We acknowledge that technology is here to stay, and that teaching children the skills of navigating the digital world are vital skills for life! As such, we feel strongly that informed parental guidance is critical in the process, and we know as parents that it can feel overwhelming, especially as technology changes so quickly! Here are some topics to consider discussing with your child:
- Talk about what they might share online, and with whom. Discuss what happens to the data and images they share. They will need guidance about what it means to be in control of their social network feeds and to be shown how to be intentional about who they are interacting with and why. (A good place to start might be about what you do online and how you make choices about what you post and with whom you share and why.)
- Talk about what they see in their social media feed (or what you see in yours) and raise their awareness of the effects their social media feeds have on their own social and emotional wellbeing. (You might let them know how it makes you feel too!)
- Talk about the importance of relating with people online in the same kind way they would in person. Discuss how words and tone can be misunderstood online, and that this may not be the best way to have an honest and tricky conversation.
- Help them learn the skills to deal with digital drama, possible exclusion, and the inevitable instinct to compare ourselves to others. There will be times when they need to be resilient or know how to deal with someone’s anger or how to respond to a group chat gone wrong. Let them know you’re there when they feel uncomfortable with something, even if it’s not directed at them.
- Help them learn the skills to think critically about what they read/see and how to check sources and recognize misinformation or disinformation. Here’s a helpful guide for parents.
- Talk about images they might see which could be confusing or scary, and let them know you are there to be a resource to them. This should include conversations about healthy relationships and pornographic content. Here’s an article about How to Talk to Your Kids About Internet Pornography
- Help your child learn how to block, report, and deal with unwanted attention.
- Talk to your child about the balance of time online and time to pursue other important things in their life. Life is more fulfilling when it’s about living, not about curating their social media content!
Here’s some sage advise from Cyberwise, “Teenagers, believe it or not, look to their parents more than any other source to learn how to conduct themselves online. This is an important time to talk with your teens about their online lives. And don’t have just one talk; have hundreds of small talks.” It’s never too late to start these conversations with your child. Be curious, keep an open mind and be honest with your thoughts and concerns. In addition, our greatest impact on our children is often what we do as adults – remember the importance of modeling the behaviors you expect of your children when it comes to technology use. Be a team with your child and challenge yourself to have a healthy relationship with technology too; everyone will benefit!
This is tough stuff and we certainly don’t have all the answers, but we’re happy to be a sounding board, if you need one! We’re grateful – as are the campers – that Wawenock is a place where campers and staff can free themselves from the digital umbilical cord, interact face to face with each other, and live in the moment for the moment. Being tech free at Camp is truly a gift!